So it turns out my beautiful daughter has the eyes of her father. She'll be in glasses all her life with 20/50 in one eye and 20/80 in the other and astigmatisms for both.
Looking at frames for her glasses was very exciting for Audrey and she loves the ones that she picked out. She had her choice of any kind she wanted of course.
That brought back memories for me... I saw the row called "Youth". They were in the 10 dollar range. Those were the frames you could pick out if welfare was buying your glasses. Those were the frames that I had to choose from when I was a child. I would just die if I had to do that to my daughter. She is fortunate to be able to pick out the super cool Hanna Montana purple frames that make her look like a movie star! I'm so happy that I can give her that - and even if I couldn't afford it, I would just make it happen. I'm so sick that I would give it to her anyway.
I can't subject her to the attitude that my parents had toward me. Audrey is beautiful, she can have any glasses frames she wants to make her feel like a superstar. I wouldn't want to destroy a beautiful girl's dreams by telling her she has to choose UGLY frames, and oh by the way - the super unpopular girl in school already is wearing those frames, so don't even try to fit in.
Well my parents moved a lot of times. After suffering welfare glasses and suffering with going to school and seeing the other girls with the same frames I vowed I would never let my child be so mortified, humiliated or embarrassed as I was. I guess I was too sensitive - but HEY - if you want to criticize me, walk a mile or two in my shoes OK?
I know it sounds ungrateful to my parents and I must have been some vain shallow teenager (I was actually their slave, housekeeper and babysitter and a straight A student), but it hurt me a lot - I should be happy I even got glasses to begin with. But as a girl there should be something that lets us be selfish about our looks. As a parent, I know that I am trying to instill confidence for Audrey in how she looks - how she wants to wear her hair this way or that and how she wants to wear some weird clothing combination. She is my darling and I won't hold her back by telling her she has to wear ugly glasses!
I just refuse! Wait till you see the pictures, she is so cute in her new glasses!!! Come on - money is money and it spends on Ram en noodles just as well as it spends on something your daughter wants very much. I can't deny my kids the GOOD stuff. I'm seriously fucked up because of my childhood, but I really want my kids to have all of the normalcy's, to be spoiled rotten, to not be held back by "my mom (dad) can't afford it, or won't let me because they can't afford it". ACK, that is the worst thing for a Kid!
I guess I am shallow. I got hurt, and don't want my kids to be hurt by monetary descrimination.
My priorities are my kids' happiness and well being. My kids always look their best and feel great when they go out. This confidence builder has no price tag. I only wish my step dad had the common sense to see that it didn't matter if we lived in a tent as long as our clothes were clean and our style was cool. I could care less about how he felt about feeding us - because in all fairness, he didn't feed us, the state did. I thought and still feel that he was a very selfish man. That is a WHOLE big can of worms... that I may write about sometime.
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